Reclaim your feminine lover with essential oils
The month of February is known as the month of love. And, in my work, I’ve come to see that we could all do with embodying love a little more deeply as there are so many ways in today’s crazy, modern culture that we block out both our giving and our receiving of it - even (and usually especially) to ourselves.
One of the ways that I help women to reconnect to love, as a Coach, is by helping them embody the powerful energetic of archetypes. Archetypes are really powerful stories, myths and legends that help us hold up a mirror to parts of us that we hadn’t seen before - parts of our Soul that are unconscious and lie dormant, until we look there and choose to intentionally begin to more fully express these parts of us that have been hidden.
And so, in February, the invitation is to choose to love yourself (and others too - whether it be romantic or platonic relationships) by harnessing the powerful story of the Lover Archetype. Examples of the Lover Archetypes can be seen in myths, legends and stories like Romeo and Juliet, the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, or Marilyn Monroe - all of whom are soft, relaxed, intimate, and fully expressed (which is who the Lover helps you to be).
So, why might we want to reclaim the Lover in ourselves this February? Well, obviously we have Valentine’s Day coming up and the Lover is fantastic at romance; but that’s not the real reason. The bigger reason is to activate ourselves into a softer, more feminine way of being; these powerful stories offer us ways to look into the subconscious ways we operate in the world, and the chance to choose new ways of being. They also show us what we desire on a deep level, and by looking at ourselves through their lens we can identify our beliefs, values, personality traits, motivations, and fears.
The Lover archetype is all about love and can be harnessed to choose to love ourselves a little bit more. For most of us, we are running around in the hectic-paced world, completely ignoring the call of our Soul to slow down, go more gently, be more vulnerable and intimate and speak our truth - all of which are actually really important in creating lives that we actually love, rather than lives that feel busy, stressed and difficult. So, ultimately, this is an invitation into being more loving and truthful to ourselves.
The most important thing to know about this work is that the Lover really adores essential oils as they can be used in a way to really activate the senses, which is what the Lover is all about - sensuality, love and full expression. So, in this article, we dive into the Lover a little deeper with some tools and tips on how to reclaim your soft and sensual Feminine Lover with aromatherapy and create your life from a more loving place that will have you feeling much more alive and juicy.
Activating your feminine lover
Ultimately, the Lover archetype has some key traits that we can activate within ourselves. These include:
- Having a relaxed and soft way of being in life
- Being deeply connected to emotions
- Being sensual, connected to body and in-tune with desire
- Being seductive, romantic, and passionate
- Having a deep appreciation of beauty
- Being femininely balanced
The real work of becoming the Lover is in choosing to more fully embody all of these traits, really doing the work to let our bodies fully feel these things - rather than rushing around in life, being disconnected to our bodies and emotions and ignoring the beauty and romance of life. The work is to, instead, allow our nervous systems to slow down and adjust to a more Feminine, loving, new way of being.
Essential oils are really the perfect embodiment tool to support this type of feminine embodiment work, because they literally naturally change the body’s chemistry; so really, there’s no better way to embody the Lover than by using the power of essential oils. So, below, I share some embodiment tips, along with the activating essential oils, so that you can do this work at home.
Essential oils to activate relaxation and softness
Relaxation and softness is something that we can intentionally choose into when we consciously begin to embody the energy of the Lover archetype. To do this, you might like to create rituals that remind you to relax and soften your body throughout the day.
Our recommended tip for this would be to create a beautiful inhalator with some relaxing oils - here’s a blend idea:
Relax and Soften Blend
Add 1 drop of Lavender, 1 drop of Bergamot and 1 drop of Chamomile to a cotton pad and roll it up into an inhalator, then set a reminder every hour, or as frequently as required, to remind you to stop, take some deep breaths and consciously relax and soften your body.
Essential oils to activate deeper connection to emotions
The Lover is really deeply connected to her emotions and so to embody this aspect of her, you might like to begin to get a bit more introspective and carve out some time to journal around or just be with whatever feelings are coming up that you might normally be tempted to ignore because you are busy.
Our recommended tip for this, would be to create a sacred space to journal with some beautiful emotionally supportive and healing oils in your aromatherapy diffuser - here’s a blend idea:
Connect to Emotions Blend
Add 4 drops Rose, 2 drops Clary Sage and 1 drop Cypress into water in an electrical diffuser or candle burner and spend some time feeling into what emotions are surfacing for you. The bigger question from the Lover is: can you choose to go gently and love yourself through whatever comes up?
Essential oils to activate sensuality and connection to body and desire
A huge aspect of the Feminine Lover is that she is hugely sensual and has a deep connection to her body and her desires. In our hectic world, we tend to ignore these aspects of ourselves - often they can bring up unconscious fear about being too expressed - so the invitation is to choose to begin to fully allow these aspects of yourself.
Our recommended tip for this embodiment would be to create a sacred space for a bath so that you can begin to connect a bit deeper to your feminine essence:
Activate Sensuality and Connection to Body and Desire Blend
Add 2 drops Rose, 2 drops Geranium and 2 drops Jasmine to 14ml Bath Oil or Shower Gel and mix well before adding to the warm running water of your bath. I’d recommend you add rose petals for the fullest effect of embodying the Lover - there’s nothing like it for luxuriously and fully expressing your sensuality and connection. Lie back and allow yourself to stroke your body wherever it feels the desire to be stroked - allow yourself to fully feel the simple sensual pleasures of your sense of touch, which activates your connection to your body.
Essential oils to activate seduction, romance and passion
The Feminine Lover is deeply seductive, romantic, and passionate. Again, in today’s world, being outright seductive, romantic and full of passion is shut right down because there can be a fear of being “too much”. So, we often ignore these aspects of ourselves - and the invitation is to choose to let yourself be fully expressed.
Our recommended tip for this embodiment would be to create a sacred space for body massage - either alone, or with company (we’ll let you decide!):
Activate your Seductive Power, Romance and Passion Blend
Add 3 drops Ylang Ylang, 2 drops Rose and 1 drop Patchouli into 15ml of Grapeseed oil and mix well, before using the massage oil to massage your body (or another’s) in long, gentle, seductive strokes, in a direction towards the heart. Enjoy the seductive romance of it all.
Essential oils to activate beauty
The Lover is also deeply appreciative of all beauty, and so facial skincare can be a beautiful invitation for embodiment of this aspect of the Lover.
Our recommended tip for this would be to create a luxurious facial massage oil to use in between your usual cleanser and moisturiser, once a week.
Beauty Oil Blend
Mix 4 drops Frankincense and 2 drops of either Lemon (for oily skin) or Rose (for dry skin) into 30ml Grapeseed oil and pop it into a small bottle labelled with the intention of “Beauty Oil”. Once a week, gently stroke the oil into your face after a deep cleanse (try a clay mask for a really deep clean), leaving it to sink in for 10 minutes, before blotting the residue off with a tissue. Inhale the beautiful scent, with the intention of embodying your Lover, too!
Essential oils to activate feminine balance
Finally, one of the most common ways that the Lover actually calls to us is via aches and pains in the feminine areas - so being out of balance anywhere in the body that is related to femininity is a typical calling to soften into the Lover’s beautiful, sensual, deeply connected energy. To help create healing in the body, I’d recommend massage with some feminine balancing oils.
Feminine Balance Blend
Mix 3 drops Geranium, 2 drops Ylang Ylang and 1 drop Clary Sage into 15ml Grapeseed oil and use this massage oil to gently and softly massage your breasts, (in the direction towards your armpits) and your womb (in a clockwise direction around the abdomen). Do this with the intention of bringing love to these parts and deeply healing and balancing your body.
All of these tips and blends harness really powerful essential oils and embodiment practices to have you embodying the soft, relaxed, emotional, sensual, deeply connected, full of desire, seductive, romantic, passionate, beautiful and balanced femininity of the Lover. And, ultimately, they also ground you in offering yourself and others more love and beauty in life. And who doesn’t want that? Especially in February - though really, the Lover isn’t just for Valentine’s Day, it’s for all year. Your body will thank you. After all, love really does make the world go round.
Nicole Barton
Consultant Aromatherapist
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